Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
Pardon the cheesy joke, but it serves a point: You see an attractive young woman, you say something nice, she responds well to it. Awesome! That doesn’t mean you can walk around saying, “I got her.”
We say “like” to be like, we smile to be welcoming, and we are nice because we like to be treated nicely. None of these fall under the “I’m romantically interested” category.
Women are far less mysterious than they’re claimed to be. Sure, they have their moments, but I feel a lot of the time they’re assigned that label because guys are dumb. I know. I am one!
So, guys, let me assure you: if a woman is interested in you, she’ll let you know. You don’t have to send her a billion messages. You don’t have to show up at her work. True, she probably won’t print it on a billboard. She may indicate it with a gesture of the hand or a tilt of the head, but it’s there nevertheless. That’s why you’ve got to be in the moment. That means you’ve got to be over yourself.
I’ll be the first to say that even we, married guys, miss these cues all the time. If we get outta our own way and stop dogmatically pursuing our own needs, the answers we’re looking for will be right there.