We shout our feelings from a 1,000 miles below the surface.
The amateur writer, the amateur actor puts everything out there. Our thoughts, our anger. But, in real life, we hold back. Out of fear, social convention, time, whatever.
Many times we want to cry and say, “hold me,” but we say, “I’m fine.” Many times we want to hit and hurt, but instead we smile and say, “how are you?” or say nothing at all.
To say this is duplicitous of us I think is unfair, though perhaps there is truth to that. But think of your everyday interactions. You walk up, order your coffee, the person at the bar asks how you are. Maybe your friend was in a car accident. Maybe you got rolled at work. But we don’t say that. There are thousands of customers to serve. We keep the ball rolling, present our stock answer and slide down to the other end of the counter.
And therein lies the challenge: no matter what we say, we need always to be honest with ourselves about how we truly feel. That way, when the timing is right, we can work through those emotions, we can find safe people to confide in. At the same time, from a listener’s perspective, we need always to be aware. People speak volumes with only their eyes, let alone their body posture. The simplest things. Are we brave enough to be present? Always there is the temptation to just go through the motions. What if we stopped and made a difference, if we were that safe place to pull that hidden self out from 1,000 leagues below?