Along Came Poly

“I’m polyamorous,” he said, smoking his cigarette.

“Meaning?” I said.

“I love many people. I don’t know how anybody can love just one,” he said.

He exhaled and watched the smoke rise.

“My best friends is going away,” he said, “not forever, but for a long time. I hope she’ll be happy.”

We leaned against the adjacent wall.

I imagined he did know how to love just one, and did. But who am I to know anything?

The Man* who Wrestles with God

*[enter identifier here]

The man who wrestles with God

loses everything.

The man who wrestles with God

gains everything back.

The man who wrestles with God

is a fool.

The man who wrestles with God

becomes a king.

The man who wrestles with God

knows not what he  is doing.

The man who wrestles with God

learns great wisdom.

The man who wrestles with God

must eventually submit

-humble himself-

to be exalted on High!

The Fear of Loss

The fear of loss

is the anthesis of love

for love frees

and loss vainly grasps,

trying to hold on.

 

If you love, you must be willing to let go

of yourself, of your inhibitions, of your preconceived thoughts

of how life should be.

Although you can encourage behaviors

and entertain thoughts,

you cannot ultimately force one’s hand-

or, at least not for very long

or to any lasting effect.

 

Listen, engage, inform

be in communion with each other

and the here and now

but know that the now is just that

and the next moment will be something else entirely.

 

I, therefore, free you of your stranglehold

on the future and dare you to live like now

is the only thing there is.

Enjoy it while it is,

then let it go;

 

and may the peace of Jesus Christ

follow you in every moment

that follows

 

Facing Regret

Hey everybody,

How we doing today?

Ever have a situation you wish you would have done better with? I’ve had lots. In fact, I envy anyone who boasts of having none. (I pray they are telling the truth on the matter, rather than trying to live up to a “no regrets” bumper sticker motto they saw once.) Here are two situations that come vividly to mind:

  1. There once was a young woman who used to come into my work dressed rather provocatively. A lot of men at work, customers and employees, used to get all hot and bothered by it. They had their own individual reasons. I personally wasn’t too worked up by it. Sure,  I understand that men are visual creatures, and society has its “modesty” standards. Still, at that time, I didn’t mind it. She wasn’t my daughter or sister or mother or anything other than my friend and customer. I was happy she was happy, and she did in fact seem happy. Some, I suppose, dress this way out of lack of self-confidence. She seemed to do it out of an abundance of confidence. More power to her! But people talk, and say all kinds of things. One day, somebody said something mean to her about what she was wearing. I personally never heard the comment, but she came to me and asked my opinion about her appearance nevertheless. I gave some blanket, nothing answer that tended toward the more conservative side. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had the feeling where you wish you had a least one person on your side in an argument, especially when you have your back up against the wall. Well, in that situation, I didn’t have hers, and I never got the chance to have it. She never returned to my workplace, and I never saw her again. I hope wherever she is, she feels beautiful and valued. If we ever meet, I hope to get the chance to saw as much. Sometimes, we just gotta set our opinions aside to  just be human.
  2. In another situation, a friend of mine’s mother died suddenly (the anniversary of her passing is coming up soon, in fact). She was an awesome woman. Her death came as a shock to us all. The service was held within the week. My friend sent me a text at the last minute, asking to come. I was afraid that if I just bolted from work, I would lose my job. So, I didn’t go. This friend is one of the most accepting people I know, and she took my absence in stride. But, seriously, some friend I am. Sometimes in life you just gotta risk that plush job to do what needs to be done.

I’ve let other people down, often times by been too afraid to do what’s right. If you picked up from the last blog, I tend towards cowardice and conservatism. I acknowledge that fault, accept that mistake. I’ll work on correcting it in the future. In the meantime, I’ll take my lumps, own my failures, and use them as teaching lessons for next time.

If you are down on yourself for your past mistakes, I pray you do not let them get the better of you. As Rafiki from Lion King says…

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Do not lose hope! Tomorrow will be brighter. Just keep going.

Love,

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